


Lyrium Dependency

by orphan_account



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Blood, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Lyrium, Minor Injuries, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-06 19:40:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4234185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen's lyrium addiction is getting to him, driving him on the verge of insanity the more he resists. What happens when he reaches his limit?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cullen could smell the lyrium in her blood.

He hated it... and _loved_ it.

Every time she was close to him, he could feel the lyrium pulsing throughout her body. The potions she had to drink during the spur of the battle had seeped into her veins. Lirani was an exceptional mage after all, and she needed the boost of power to win this war. The way she weaved the magic between her fingers, the talent that flourished when she became the Inquisitor. Maker, she was-

"Cullen? Are you alright?"

He gulped as he broke away from his drifting mind, rubbing his neck as he sighed.

"Y-yes, I was just..." his head throbbed in pain. Lirani had convinced him to not take lyrium, to not give in but the headaches took a toll on him eventually. "...headache."

"I see. Come here," Lirani said as she moved to him, lifting her hands to place them on his temples. Cullen shivers at her warm touch, a bead of sweat falling down from his forehead.

"Just relax, okay?" she whispered as the magic started to glow in her hand, closing her eyes as she focused. It was helping Cullen's headache, but created a new problem.

His head was no longer in pain, but the scent of lyrium was intoxicating. The thought of taking it made him quiver, the temporary but valuable relief he savored lingered so close to him. The more magic she filled him with, the more the lyrium hummed to him, luring him into a deep euphoria. It felt as though he was a templar again, awaiting the time when he took his dose of-

No. Stop.

He grabs Lirani's healing hand abruptly, the glow of magic disappearing from her fingers. He was panting and shivering from the mental torture of his past. He is a templar no more. She looks at him in confusion, unaware of his problem.

"Dis-Dis" he mumbles, his voice getting caught in his throat.

"Dis?"

"Distraction! I need... We need a distraction," Cullen said, loosening the grasps on her wrist, entwining his fingers between hers.

"Come upstairs with me," he whispered softly under his breath, standing up and tugging her gently towards the ladder to his bed.

Lirani climbed the ladder first, unbuttoning her shirt slowly as she walked towards the bed. Cullen followed her soon after, but with a deep hunger in his eyes. Compared to Lirani, he was like a lion about to devour a delicate deer.

She was sitting on the bed, not in an enticing manner but calmly. It was the kind of consent and submission for Cullen to do what he wanted to do, and that is what he definitely needed from her. Lirani watched as he unbuckles his armor, loudly falling onto the wooden floor, pulling his shirt over his head when the necessary metal has been removed. Bare chested, he leaned into her, kissing her softly on the lips which gradually grew more desperate. He creeps onto the bed with her under him, pushing her back without their lips parting. Lirani follows his actions, pressing her lips harder as he applies more force, his hands supporting her back as he pushed on.

Lirani pants as Cullen slides his kisses downwards onto her neck, breathing in her scent _and the scent of lyrium._ He grinds on her clothed sex, feeding his semi- hard length with pleasure as he drowns himself in her smell. When he exhales Lirani giggles.

"H-hey that's ticklish. What has gotten into you tonight?" she asked as she dug her fingers into his hair, the other hand holding onto his back. His length brushes against a weak spot of hers, making her moan as she grasps his hair tightly.

Cullen moves his hands to the rest of the buttons on her shirt, undoing them and parting the fabric aside to reveal her breasts under her breast band. His strong large hand slides it up and over her head in one sweep, exposing her bare chest. Cullen kisses the valley of her breasts as he takes off her pants and underwear in one tug, her become completely naked under him now.

Lirani sighs as he sits up on his knees, removing the belt from his trousers and takes them off. Cullen's length falls out, twitching in desire as he tosses the rest of the clothes on the floor. He strokes it as he positions himself on top of her.

"Are you ready?" he said, in fact more like a command than a question. Cullen's cock was impatient, his brows twitching when he could feel a tingle of urge burning in his stomach.

She gives a small nod, relaxing her body to prepare. Slowly, he guided his length to her entrance, sliding along its lips. Cullen pushed his hips forward gently, feeling the tight walls of her inside pressing against his dick.

"Fuck... I..." he grunts, continuing to press on until his cock fully enters her. Lirani lets out a satisfied sigh, her breath mixed with pleasure and lust.

Cullen moves slowly, his hands gripping the mattress beside her as he pants. He wanted it to last, to consume the moment as it clouds his mind with bliss.

Thrusting back and forth steadily, he hits a weak spot in Lirani, making her clench suddenly.

"Agh!" he cries, the sudden pressure sending sparks and shivers all over his body. Lirani laughs, for she found his reaction quite adorable. They pause for a while, Cullen momentarily paralyzed from the sudden shock of satisfaction. She stretches her arms out, wide and accepting.

"Come here," she whispers, Cullen obeying and accepting her embrace. Their chests press together as he begins to move again, this time they could both feel each other's hot breath on their skin. Unable to reach across his broad back, Lirani wraps her arms around his shoulder and grips his neck, his hair under her fingers.

For Cullen however, he could smell the lyrium again, driving him into a trance. He quickens his pace, reflecting the desire he desperately wanted beneath her skin. Lirani squints her eyes, the shift in pace making her moan with each thrust. Cullen doesn't stop quickening, her moans becoming echoes as he drowns in the lust. It was as if he was losing control of himself. It was as if he was beginning to lose his mind in-

No. Stop.

He slows down considerably, Lirani opening her eyes and giving him a confused look. Cullen averts his eyes, not sure how to put his dilemma to words. He swallows his saliva before thinking up an excuse.

"I want... to last, so you... come first," he panted, his cock throbbing hot and painfully in retaliation but Lirani smiles.

"Okay," she smiles, her joyful and dazzling expression makes him blush to the ears.

"Maker you are beautiful..." he whispers, Cullen couldn't help himself. He leans in to kiss her, but with restraint this time. He has control over his actions, his thoughts, his _desires._ Cullen's kisses were soft and tender, unlike the driven force he was before. Their lips move with each other, breath and moan coinciding with each other like a passionate dance.

In this moment, everything was slow, their kisses, their sex, it was slow yet it held something far greater. It was like a flame was kindling, letting the passion develop and grow into something feverish and beautiful.

Her nails dug into his skin, signalling her incoming climax. In response he quickens his thrusts, Lirani moaning louder as seconds pass. The pleasure was overwhelming in her, burrowing her head into the crevasse in his neck as she braced herself. Cullen tilts his head towards her ear, his lips brushing it gently, and whispers her name softly.

"Lirani..."

"Ahh!"

With a cry she shakes, her hands and feet tensing as she squirms beneath him. Her chest rises and falls, her face blushed as her breaths escape in exhausted puffs.

It was his turn now.

Lirani lazily kisses him on the neck as he reaches his climax, moaning from all the held back lust driving itself. He supports her as he speeds up his pace, his length throbbing and about to release. Cullen furiously banged against her skin, slapping hard to satisfy his needs. His mind driving him to climax, he thrusts relentlessly until he could feel a shiver going down his spine. His hands grabbing onto her waist, he pushes his length into her, letting out a roar as he spills into her, relief washing over him.

They lie there, panting and sweating, letting the cool air settle around them before Cullen sits her up on him. Her energy was spent and was unable to return the kisses Cullen continued to plant on her. He continued to marvel the delicate skin he tasted, the moist sweat and the way her skin rebounds his lips.

Her orgasm seems to have stirred the blood in her, he fell back into a familiar feeling of euphoria.

_"...Cullen?"_

What was it again? It had just slipped his mind. He continued to devour her with kisses near her neck, where the skin was thin and he could feel her pulse.

_"Hey Cullen, are you al-"_

Something boiled in her blood, something special that he _really_ wanted. It felt so close the more he kissed it. His teeth pressing the skin with each suck. He applied a bit more force, digging into her skin as he envelops in the scent.

_"...! Cullen... what are yo-"_

So close... so close! He pressed forward, beginning to taste on his lips, he licks her skin. Cullen smiles as if he had just reached it. The taste felt so real...the taste...

"..Cu-... Cullen!"

His eyes spring open, jolting back to see Lirani, the blush in her cheeks fading and her brows furrowed.

"Wh-what did you...?" she said with a worried expression, dragging the blanket over her chest.

Cullen blinks a few times, catching a small blotch of red on her neck as his eyes focused.

".... Blood? ... ! Shit!"

He wipes his lip and brings his thumb to his view, a small bloodstain was on it. A cold chill traveled across his body, moving his tongue a bit in his mouth he could taste something metallic.

"I...." Cullen chokes, panics even, realising what he had just did. Maker, there was no sane excuse to explain his actions. "Lirani I-"

He stops, a bead of blood catching his attention. Squinting his eyes, his mouth starts to salivate when he could _sense_ a swirling blue glow in it. _Lyrium._

No..! Stop!

Cullen snaps himself back to reality, putting on his shirt and breeches quickly without giving Lirani time to react. Slipping on his boots, he could feel her hand on his shoulder.

"Where are you going, Cullen?" her voice was still gentle and soft, even after what he did to her. He couldn't forgive himself, he let his past desires hurt someone, hurt her...!

"Forgive me... Lirani... I need to clear my head," he slips on his other boot before pacing towards the ladder, Lirani's hand slipping away from him. She closes her eyes as she listens to him leave, the sound of him reaching the ground, the creak of the door, and the final startling slam of the locks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen tries to make things right, but things don't go exactly as planned...

Cullen paced around the barracks while the moon shun down on the stone fortress. He looked up, chuckling at himself before his chuckles turn into weak sobs.

"What have I done?" he whispered to himself, burying his face into his hand as he tries to piece his actions together.

He _hurt_ her, and he did not realise until she had even drawn blood. Cullen cursed at himself, taking guilt in... in the taste and... it was...

"Argh!"

He slams his fist against a wall. _'How could he enjoy something like that?'_ he wondered. He peers back at his tower, looking up through the crack of the walls to see any signs of life, remembering that he left her there. But there was no movement. She had left.

Opening his door back into his tower felt cold and lonely, the air was still and yet he could still feel the wisp of her presence still here.

Cullen sighs, before making his way to climb up the ladder. After climbing the second step, something on his desk catches his attention, and jumps down the ladder. A note lays in the middle of all his other paperwork, a note from her.

' _Cullen,_  
_I'm not mad with you. If you need to talk I'm willing to listen, but for now I think you need your space. I will speak to you tomorrow._  
_Lirani'_

\---

It was the next day. Cullen was tense, nervous, even sulking while awaiting for Lirani to appear. He couldn't concentrate on his duties, which was replaced with 'staring out a window and wondering what he would say to her'. But it felt like time was being cruel to him, and waiting felt like an eternity.

Cullen picks up a report to skim through mindlessly, not able to process any of the words on it. His brows knit as he tries to read the first sentence over and over agai-

"Cullen...?"

He places the report down in an instant, almost crumpling the poor piece of paper as Lirani steps through the door.

"Ah, well. You - uh..." he stumbled to find the words, his facing turning red with embarrassment. _This went a lot better in his head._

"Could you come to my quarters, I wish to speak with you," she says in a calm manner, a business-like tone even.

"Of course," he nodded, worried about her actions. Is she actually mad? Or disgusted? Either way, he followed silently behind her.

When they had arrived, she walked towards her desk. Cullen didn't notice the large pile of books until she placed her hand on them. Despite planning out all the excuses he could blurt out beforehand, the way she acted, her expression, it kept him silent as he watched. She takes a deep breath.

"I did my research, last night til this morning," she started, Cullen widening his eyes at her commitment, but why?

"At night I read all of these, on lyrium, on templars, and during the day I talked to people. Cassandra, Dorian, Solas, the surgeon, and even to some ex-templar recruits outside."

Cullen chokes on his breath, tensing up at what Lirani said, but she shakes her head and chuckles.

"Don't worry, I haven't told anyone about what you did. Except for Cassandra, who I trust will keep it a secret," she says. "This is what I've compiled."

"Yes, there is lyrium in my blood, but it changes when I take it. Because of my magic, it seems to break it down even more, but not enough for it to be totally consumed. In other words, it's like its lyrium residue."

"Lyrium residue?" Cullen mutters to himself, processing her words. As his eyes averted downwards in thought, Lirani approaches him slowly.

"The harmful effects are faded, there are no memory losses, no nightmares, so-" she begins to undo the buttons on her clothes. Cullen notices and gasps as she closes in on him.

"But... I hurt you and-"

"Cassandra believes that because the lyrium is so dulled out, it wouldn't be like you were actually taking it," she interrupts him, her shirt sliding down her shoulders. Lirani gently pushes Cullen onto her bed despite him trying to refuse. But he couldn't refuse. He gulps as he tries to look away from her, but yet again he was drawn to the siren call of her blood.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks, laying his hand on her shoulder for reassurance. She nods.

"Yes, but as long as you don't drink my blood to the point where you get iron poisoning," she adds.

Lirani pulls out a small dagger, sheathed in a thin leather casing from her pocket. About to draw it out, Cullen stops her by holding her hand. He sighs as a small glisten of sweat forms on his forehead, the temptation and suffering he concealed so well begins to reveal itself.

"Thank you..." he whispers, cupping her face as he leans in for a kiss. Cullen was thankful, very thankful to have this woman in his life. His lyrium withdrawal drove him on the edge every day, but for her to be there and bring him back was a blessing.

As he continued to kiss her, he slowly took the dagger from her hands. When their lips part, Lirani sighs as her eyes flutter open.

"I'll do it," he whispers, holding out Lirani's hand. Cullen presses a point on her forearm, just above the wrist.

"Is here good?"

She nods, Cullen drawing the dagger from its sheath to make the small cut. He runs the dagger over her soft skin, the incision creating droplets of blood. The red jewels forming on her arm dilate his pupils, drawing his lips closer to them.

The breath on her arm made Lirani shiver, his tongue sweeping across the cut making her gasp. Cullen's hot tongue licking her skin made her tense, it was an odd sensation for her to marvel.

As for Cullen, he could feel himself absorbed in the lyrium, gulping every single taste that flowed into his mouth. He moaned with every suck, indulging in his desires and relieving what felt like a century worth of pain.

Eventually the wound stopped bleeding, and the blood went dry. Cullen moves away, dissatisfied at the stop of flow. Lirani looks at him, her worried expression reappearing.

"... _more..._ " Cullen growled lowly, his hands beginning to shiver, as if he was some kind of weakly animal.

Lirani's eyes widen, alerted from his words. She begins to back off, pulling her shirt back over her shoulders and stepping off her bed but -

"Ah...!" she gasps as Cullen pulls her down, making her trip onto the ground with Cullen falling on top of her.

 _'Oh god not this again!'_ she thought as she tries to struggle out, but her body was locked under his strong grip. His feet lock her legs in place, making her squirming ineffective as she yelps.

Cullen pulls the dagger out again, this time running the blade down the side of her neck, creating a long thin cut. Lirani eyes water in the pain as she winces, her fists clenching at what she's done to him.

She only wanted him to feel better, to not be in so much pain all the time. But that pain had seeped deep into his bones, making it a part of him. The momentary relief, even if it is for only just a second, had driven him mad.

This time the blood was pouring out, and Cullen moved in to drink it up when-

_No! I have to stop!_

He rolls off Lirani's body, curling into a ball as he claws at his throat.

"I can't... I must not...!" he mutters, his breath heaving as he struggles to resist. As Cullen shakes on the ground, he weakly kicks the dagger away.

Lirani quickly heals the cut before jumping to his side, sitting him up as she holds him from behind.

"Everything's okay, its fine. See? The cut has already healed! It's gone... It's okay..." she whispers as she hugs him tightly. Cullen moves his hand towards his chest, holding Lirani's arm as he shakes.

"Lirani..." he sighs, grimacing in pain as he wheezes. "Forgive me, this is my-"

"No, Cullen! The fault is mine. I didn't know you were suffering _this_ much, I'm such a fool," she begins to sob, her eyes tearing up in remorse. "Please forgive me for putting you in this state. I thought it would help you but..."

They stay silent as she held him close from behind. Cullen was unable to look at her while he regained his composure. Lirani on the other hand had her heart full of regret.

After a few moment, Lirani began to take Cullen's armour off as his consciousness wavers. He had exhausted himself from reclaiming control over his body, the toll making him drift into sleep. She lifted him his arm over her shoulder and moved him onto her bed, laying his head down gently on the pillow.

Lirani sits on the bed as she watches the broken rhythm of his breathing, running her hand gently over his head to relax him. Gently pushing his head towards her, she leans into his face.

"I'm sorry," she mutters, kissing his lips from above. Her eyes close, letting a single tear fall onto his face. Cullen, in his half dreaming state, reaches to hold the hand that was on his cheek, grasping it feebly.

"Stay with me," he murmurs, his fingers entwining with hers as she moves in to lie beside him. Cullen rolls onto his side to pull Lirani close to him, cradling her in his arms as she snuggled into his chest.

" I already know you're doing all you can to help me, so thank you," he speaks softly as he weaves her hair between his fingers. "Without you, I don't think I would've made it this far. Maker... I love you so much, I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"Cullen I-" Lirani stops her words, the shift in his breathing showing that he had fallen into deep sleep.

 _'So warm',_ she thought as she is surrounded in his scent, his body. Lirani felt like she was about to drift into sleep as well, the neglected rest from staying up all night catching up to her.

"I love you too, Cullen..." she mumbles until she becomes completely absorbed in his protective aura, and falls asleep. The love and comfort they both felt as they held each other warded the nightmares away, guiding their minds into sweet dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I hope this resolution fixes things :3 I'm probably going to end this kind of concept here, but who knows, maybe I can still continue it :P Thanks for reading :D


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